To Thine Own Self… Be True

I’ve been on a trip down memory lane these past few weeks, looking at some of the paintings I created over a decade ago and wondering if they are still happily ensconced in the homes they went to when they first left me.

My palette has not changed much as I tend to favour strong and energetic colours but what I find less present in my current portfolio are the vibrant Ghanaian themed paintings that brought me to the attention of the Society of Women Artists (SWA), and TV programmes like ‘Show Me The Monet’ (BBC2 2012) and ‘The Big Painting Challenge’ (BBC1 2015). 

For many of us sensitive and introverted artists, putting our art out there is one of the biggest risks we can take. On the one hand we want to sell our art to enable us at least to make some kind of living but on the other, there’s a level of vulnerability, our creation is out there to be critiqued, whether we like it or not.

Years ago, I submitted some of these paintings to the juries of several of the art societies in the UK for consideration to their open exhibitions and year after year saw them systematically rejected. In my frustration I even wrote to the VP of one of the societies; ‘What is it I need to do?’ ‘How can I be accepted?’ His response, to consider WHY I wanted to join the society got me thinking; but why not? Acceptance validates our work doesn’t it? Doesn’t it make us feel good about ourselves? Doesn’t it  make us feel we are doing the right thing? . Isn’t there prestige in belonging to these societies?

In the end in a bid to ‘fit in’ I decided perhaps to be more like the people with whom I was trying to exhibit. If I could paint like them, paint what they paint, see what they see, perhaps I would finally be accepted? 

Of course in trying to be like other artists I was in real danger of losing my own identity and for a while I did. Good art comes from constant practice and there are no shortcuts. My expectation that I could change just to fit in was outrageously ambitious and quite frankly - foolhardy. 

In my opening paragraph I wondered if these paintings were still happy in their new homes and I like to think they are, I took eight of them to ArtExpo in New York and 5 were sold on the opening day. A sixth had to be shipped back to the US after I returned to the UK because the buyer had been in two minds about it and decided after a couple of weeks he really wanted it. If that does not give me the validation I was seeking I don’t know what does. It isn’t always where we expect to find it.

These days I like to explore my boundaries. I enjoyed my Ghanaian themed paintings and was able to lose myself in the noise: the smells, the sounds and the energy; the nostalgia of home. At the same time I appreciate how lucky I am to express myself within two cultures and continents. It’s always a learning experience with the biggest challenge lying in applying the right palette to the right situation. Sometimes I am happy to lose my way if only to rediscover it somewhere down the line.

What has your journey of self discovery been like? I’d love to hear from you. Do drop me a line below.








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